Hi all again. It's the year 2011 and Déjà vu happened. As seen in JULY 2010 posts, Justin broke up with me and got together with a girl only a few days after the break up. This year, he did exactly the same thing just last month. Like what the fuck right. We patched back and he said his sorries but it's no use saying sorry if you're just gonna repeat it again and again. Dude! Seriously, I spent so much time and love on you, and this is how you treat me! One moment you are like fucking nice to me, the next moment, you are the worst boyfriend ever. What kind of boyfriend tells you that he feels it was IMPOSSIBLE for us be together in a relationship after 5 fucking years. If it was that impossible, we wouldn't have patched back so many times. Talk about feelings.. You told me you promised never to leave me again and never to hurt me like how you did before, guess all that were just words to you right. What a fool for me to keep forgiving you over and over.
This time, you did the worse damage to this relationship or even friendship of ours, you deleted me away from Facebook, in other words trying to tell me you no longer want me in your life anymore right? So be it. I find I should not waste anymore of my fucking miserable life with you any longer than it already is. 5 years man. That is not a short time.
I still remembered you telling me the reason why I should patch back with you. You told me that comparing all the other guys out there, you knew me the best, all my flaws, all my embarrassing moments, everything, and you still loved me. But if so, why did you still leave me after everything.
You talk about us always fighting and we are totally different from one another. Have you thought about the positive side of us? How you use to tell me that you felt so comfortable being around me than with other girls. Honestly, we seldom fight these days, but I know you're just trying to make this an excuse for the break up. You were just trying to shoot me at all the negative things just so you can push the blame on me. Last year, you did the same thing.
Although no matter how sick and tired I am of all the breaking and patching, it was because I really loved you whole-heartedly that made me always give in to you. I always wanted the best for you and us. I always wanted to do things, since you wouldn't take the initiative to do so sometimes, I did. I always told you how I loved spending time with you and doing things with you like kite flying and cooking all the different dishes we listed in my handphone. There were still so many things we could have done together if you did not leave me. I feel it was a waste, truly a waste that you left me.
And I also know I am one of those jealous type of girlfriend, but no matter what, I tried my best to hold things in just so GIRLS wouldn't be a problem in this relationship. I trusted you. It was because of you that I changed from an ah lian to who I am today. I appreciate that. But I do not appreciate you leaving me and telling me the most hurtful words and after a few days, without caring about my feelings, you are in a relationship with another girl. And still had the cheek to delete me. It hurt me a lot, since you wanted to delete me from your life, I wish you never come back ever. Not today, not tomorrow, not in the years to come. Even when I'm on my deathbed, I never want to see you because you were the only person I loved most and now, you've become the most hurtful person in my life.
Everywhere I go, I think of you. And whenever I think of you, my hands stupidly automatically goes to your Facebook page and there I see you and that girl. You just don't know how fucking sad I am. Yes there are many other guys out there. But all these times when I was with you, I always told myself you were the best and I did not need to look at other guys. But now you're gone, my heart just fails to love another. Not just yet. I just hate how you always had to leave me and give me stupid reasons for the break up. I hate how you always try to treat me so nice but now it seems all those were fake. I hate how you made me love you so much that when I close my eyes, the first person I'll think is you.
Why must you treat me like this. I have not brought you any harm, for I only loved you from the beginning.
